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Porsche Cayanne v8
By Peter Bleakney
 Porsche SUV. Now there’s a concept to get your head around. Up until a few months ago, placing those two entities in the same sentence might have had you unceremoniously turfed from the Automobile Journalists Association of Canada.
All that changed when Porsche entered the sport utility market in March with the launch of the Cayenne S ($78,250) and Cayenne Turbo ($125,100). As would be expected, the Turbo is the fastest, best handling, and most expensive uber SUV extant.
Porschephiles worldwide were shocked - nay horrified - that the purveyor of the purest driving machines would stoop to build a poseur SUV just to satisfy the fat-cat Americans. The collective wailing subsided somewhat when it was realized that the money made from peddling these beasts would keep Porsche safely in the black. More money to produce sports cars, don’t cha know.
I’m sure Porsche never really envisioned their Cayenne to be used for such a mundane task as family hauling - but I did. So here we are, heading up to Haliburton in a Cayenne S with three kids aboard and the back crammed full of food, sleeping bags and cottage paraphernalia.
The Cayenne S is powered by a 4.5 litre 32-valve V8 putting out “only” 340 hp and 310 ft/lbs of torque. I say only because, at a recent press event, after driving the stonkin’ 450 hp Turbo version, the “S” felt positively lethargic. Not so now. There’s seems to be enough urge to haul around all 2245 kgs, and in true Porsche tradition, ultra legal speeds creep up on you before you know it.
The transmission is a silky six-speed Tiptronic that electronically adapts to your driving style. Gears can be manually selected by flicking the shifter to the left gate and tapping it forward for upshifts, back for downshifts, or by using the rocker switches on the steering wheel.
 Dynamically, the Cayenne is further proof that Porsche can engineer a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. In the case of the 911, they’ve taken a basically flawed design (engine hanging out behind the rear axle), and built one of the greatest sports cars ever. Now Porsche has managed to make an overweight all-wheel drive SUV go, stop and corner with surprising alacrity. Okay, you’ll never mistake it for anything remotely Boxsterish (the trademark Porsche feedback from the controls is absent), but for a big ute, it’s darn impressive. It also proved to be a supremely comfortable cruiser.
My tester had the optional $4480 air system suspension, which offers three stiffness settings (comfort, normal, sport) and six ride heights (the lowest for stationary loading, the highest only for low-range off-roading). It automatically drops to the low driving level at 125 kph, and the sport damper setting will kick in if you start driving like Paul Tracy.
Can the Porsche of SUVs also provide some back road entertainment? An early morning strafe (without kids) of the smooth, winding blacktop around the Bancroft area proved to be an eye opening experience. Set the dampers to sport, select third gear with the thumb switch and, by gawd, there’s some fun to be had here. Eventaully, the considerable mass of the Cayenne and the ultimate lack of feedback will have you backing off, but up to that point, there’s no question the Porsche engineers spent many hours tuning this beast. What isn’t typical of Porsche is the interior - that is to say it’s quite handsome and ergonomically sound. Lots of bright aluminum trim and the optional ($1390) Dark Burr Wood Package dress it up nicely. Leather is standard, but you’ll fork over $1300 for a heated steering wheel and heated front and rear seats. If you’re feeling really extravagent, the $4480 upgrade to the tan “smooth leather” interior is down-right gorgeous.
 The center piece of my tester’s dash was the $3930 PCM (Porsche Control Management) which includes satellite navigation, trip computer, audio interface etc. Initially, the PCM can present itself as a PITA (pain in the ass), but spend fifteen minutes with the quick reference guide and you’re on your way. It’s easy to program and intuitive. Of course my kids loved the female voice in the dash who kept us on our assigned route to cottage country. Any woman (besides Mom) telling Dad where to go proved to be a great source of entertainment. As did the colourful maps on the 6.5 inch screen.
The killer 14 speaker, 350 watt Bose sound system sounded awesome. And, (surprise!) Porsche includes that as strandard equipment.
If you do venture off road in this thing, by all accounts it will climb a tree if you ask it. Porsche Traction Management is a sophisticated all wheel drive system that gives 62% of the power to the rear wheel under normal conditions, but through a multi-plate clutch will feed 100% to either end if needed. A map-controlled front-to-rear lock and optional rear axle differential lock respond to a battery of sensors measuring vehicle speed, lateral acceleration, steering wheel angle and throttle position to provide the ultimate traction.
Select the reduced-ratio gearbox, and the PTM changes to an off-pavement control map that jacks the car up on its tippy-toes, alters the ABS to a special traction control mode, changes the throttle sensitivity, locks the differentials and replaces the female voice in the sat/nav with Steve the Crocodile Hunter. “Crikey! Look out for that boulder!” Okay, I made that last bit up.
Porsche Stability Management (the big-brother electronic stability control) is standard fare on the Cayenne as well.
Confession time. I’m not a big fan of SUVs, mainly because I don’t “get” them (if you’re not utilizing their off-road capabilities, what’s the point?), and I was totally prepared to dislike this two and a half tonne Teuton. But I couldn’t. The Porsche Cayenne S is a mighty impressive piece. It is such a hugely capable vehicle in all aspects, you can’t help but feel a sense of awe at the sheer engineering prowess required to produce it. My wife loved driving Cayenne (as did I) and wants one badly - this from someone who couldn’t give two hoots for the other Porsches I’ve brought home.
It also turned in a respectable 12.9 L/100 km for the trip.
The fact that the bottom line of my tester, with a few options, swelled to $96,295 was further proof of its Porscheness. The jury is still out on the styling ... it’s not pretty but it has presence.
 Since its launch, sales of the Cayenne have equaled those of Porsche’s sports cars in Canada - a fact that may have some Porsche purists grinding their teeth.
About twenty minutes into the trek home, five year old Leanna blurted out that perennial favourite, “Are we there yet?” Could this have been the first time a rug-rat has asked that within the sacred confines of a Porsche?
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